Dating is fun...there's something about the newness of a relationship, the romance, , the falling in love, the hopes and dreams that this person will be "the one" that you have be waiting for. But I am going to be honest with you, I wouldn't trade dating, with all it's heart flutters, for the years of covenant marriage we have been a part of.
When I entered into marriage I received a new name and a new identity. I lost my independence. It was no longer just "me" it was now "we." There is a cost in marriage...yes, if you want a marriage that flourishes, it will cost you...both of you... I needed to let go of my individuality, to let go of plans and dreams. I began to pursue knowing and understanding who this man was that I had married. I began to be concerned with what he wanted. What he would like. Now I needed to think about how he would react or how this decision would affect him. As I reflect on all that I let go of, I realize that those things, were nothing compared to the new dreams and new life that I had been given. With the commitment and the dying to self, there came a depth of intimacy that was not known to me while dating. Because of the covenant that holds us together, we could be real. No pretenses. Dying to self brings new life. Two people who die to their agendas, their expectations, their individual selves brings about beautiful intimacy and knowing that goes well beyond the flutters of the heart.
I've also been changed by this marriage. Living with my husband for 25 years has changed me and made me into a different person. The times that nearly broke us...the times of fun and laughter...the day to day grind of daily living, all of it together has changed the kind of person I am. I am not the same girl who entered into this covenant all those years ago, and that is because I have been changed and shaped by living with and growing with the man that I married.
Do we still date...yes...dating within marriage is icing on the cake of covenant. But what has made our marriage what it is today, as imperfect as that may be with two very flawed people living together, is the day-to-day drudgery of life. It is the daily dying to what I want and to put the other person's needs and desire over my own. It is necessary and beautiful. It is richer and deeper than it was without the covenant.
That's great, you may be thinking right now, thanks for sharing your story about marriage, but what does this have to do with God? Everything. It has everything to do with God. As I reflect back over the years of our marriage, I can see parallels to the kind of relationship God calls us to with Him. In fact, the institution of marriage, Scripture teaches us, is designed to point us to the covenant relationship between God and those He has called to be His bride. God, has pursued for Himself a bride...He has pursued her, called her, woo-ed her. He has sacrificed for her...laying down His own life, in the person of Jesus, as a sacrifice for this bride. He paid the highest price possible...He loved at a depth unheard of...for this bride.
But, instead of entering into covenant relationship with God, I think many of us are content to just "date" God. Dating God lets us stay in control. We can maintain our individual identities. We hold on to autonomy of our lives. We show up at church on Sunday...sing love songs to God...listen to a message that tells us how much God loves us...you know...a date. Our weekly date with God. It's wonderful and fills us with all sorts of tingly warm feelings. Like the song says:
*More like falling in love than something to believe in
More like losing my heart Than giving my allegiance
We like that, it's all about falling in love...it's all about the warm fuzzy feelings of a date without the commitment to the daily life of sacrifice that a real relationship calls for. And so we go on our "date" and then we go back to our lives. Our individual lives...making decisions without any consideration for what God thinks. Going where we want to go. Doing what we want to do. Just like we are single. With no thought to anyone else but me. And Sunday rolls around...and it's once again time for our weekly date with God.
But God is calling us to something more than just falling in love...He is calling us to begin the journey to KNOW Him, implying a deeper, more intimate relationship than dating brings. All of Scripture points us to a covenantal God who calls us not to just date Him...but to enter into a marriage covenant. A covenant where we lay down the "I" of individuality, of independence for the "Him." A relationship where we no longer have to think only of ourselves, but rather, we think, "What does He like?" "What would make Him happy?" I wonder what He thinks of this?" A relationship where He trumps ME. A relationship where we are consumed with thoughts of Him...consumed with knowing Him...deeply, intimately and we pursue that. A relationship that has a depth of intimacy that is unknown outside of covenant. A relationship where we are changed by being in it. Where we become different people, just by virtue of being in this relationship.
Are there "dates" in this relationship with God...yes, absolutely...but it's within something much greater, much deeper, much more intimate...and this relationship does involve believing in Him and it does involve allegiance to Him. It's a relationship of love, commitment, and sacrifice. It's a marriage.
So, are you just "dating" God, or have you taken the plunge, thrown yourself all in to a covenant relationship with your Creator, your Savior, your Redeemer, your King?
"Love the Lord your God with ALL your heart, and with ALL your soul, and with All your strength."
*from the song "More Like Falling in Love" by Jason Grey
But God is calling us to something more than just falling in love...He is calling us to begin the journey to KNOW Him, implying a deeper, more intimate relationship than dating brings. All of Scripture points us to a covenantal God who calls us not to just date Him...but to enter into a marriage covenant. A covenant where we lay down the "I" of individuality, of independence for the "Him." A relationship where we no longer have to think only of ourselves, but rather, we think, "What does He like?" "What would make Him happy?" I wonder what He thinks of this?" A relationship where He trumps ME. A relationship where we are consumed with thoughts of Him...consumed with knowing Him...deeply, intimately and we pursue that. A relationship that has a depth of intimacy that is unknown outside of covenant. A relationship where we are changed by being in it. Where we become different people, just by virtue of being in this relationship.
Are there "dates" in this relationship with God...yes, absolutely...but it's within something much greater, much deeper, much more intimate...and this relationship does involve believing in Him and it does involve allegiance to Him. It's a relationship of love, commitment, and sacrifice. It's a marriage.
So, are you just "dating" God, or have you taken the plunge, thrown yourself all in to a covenant relationship with your Creator, your Savior, your Redeemer, your King?
"Love the Lord your God with ALL your heart, and with ALL your soul, and with All your strength."
*from the song "More Like Falling in Love" by Jason Grey
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