It was the year that our church died, that I saw the Lord. He was high and lifted up and the robe of His train filled the temple. Well, I didn't literally see Him like Isaiah did, but that was the year that I went from having heard about God, knowing about God, to seeing Him. It was in that year, that I sat in church and felt the Holy Spirit pierce my soul down to its marrow with the truth of who He is and the truth about who I am. And to say that I was undone is an understatement. The words of Isaiah accurately describe how I felt, "Woe to me for I am ruined." But following on the heels of that moment in time, God began to sweep in with His burning coals of grace...And I have not been the same since.
It was that piercing that opened my eyes to the fact that I was a woman who had spent her whole life wanting the blessings of God (heaven, good family, good health, peace and comfort) but I didn't want God. I realized that I was actually an idolater with no love in my heart for God. I felt absolutely broken in that moment and in despair and I turned my face to Jesus and told Him...I don't love you. I don't know you. I don't even know if I want to love you. But please, change me...give me the desire to just desire you. And that was the year I began to see the Lord! That was the year I began to understand the gospel. That was the year I began to love Scripture, because that was the year God began to answer my prayer. He opened my eyes so I could see Him, and He did that through the imperishable seed...the Word of God.
And you know, that original prayer is still the prayer of my heart. I still pray that I may know Him, the real Him. I don't want to serve a God that I have created in my own mind with my own thoughts. I want the real Him.Even if He confronts me. Regardless of whether I understand Him or whether I agree with Him or not. I want to know the God who breathed the universe into existence and who created me to have a relationship with Him. It is the cry of my heart to know THAT God and to make Him known. And that's why I love the Bible...because that is the book that I go to to find Him.
It's there that I begin to see who He is...what He likes, what He doesn't like. It is there that I begin to get glimpses of His character, His personality. It is there that I learn what He has done and is doing even now, and what He is still going to do. It is in that book that I have begun what I hope is the never ending quest to learn to know my God, my Savior, my Lord, my King.
I can't tell you how thankful I am for the very fact that God was so gracious to us to reveal Himself in this beautiful book and then to preserve it for us for thousands of years. When I sit and think about what it took for me to hold in my hands this book, what had to happen over the thousands of years so that it would not be lost, the blood that was shed by those who came before me so that I could have it, I am overwhelmed by God's incredible grace to us!
And it breaks my heart to hear the scoffs of people, to hear those who would tear it apart, say it's not true, that it cannot be trusted, that it's optional. It breaks my heart to hear people within the church, say to look for god within yourself and within others. I can at times despair when I look around me at the disdain and the complacency I see for the Bible.
But this weekend I was deeply encouraged. I was deeply encouraged and also challenged by a beautiful young woman from Iran, who interestingly enough was introduced to Jesus in Iran in a house church, through the same way that I met Him...in the Bible. And this young woman has been willing to give it all up...her safety, her comfort, and her very life so that her people can "taste and see that the Lord is good". She is committed to getting the Bible in the hands of her people because they are so hungry and so thirsty, and the only solution to their hunger and thirst is found in Scripture. Please take about 9 minutes to listen to her story. You will be moved by her courage and her passion both for her Savior and for her people.
Be encouraged and be challenged! http://elam.com/page/ladans-story
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