Jesus pictured this very same attitude in His parable of the prodigal sons. Yes, the prodigal sons, plural. The younger son went to his father and asked for his inheritance so he could live just as he wanted to. In asking for his inheritance he said to his father, "I wish you were dead. I want your stuff but I don't want you." That wasn't just the attitude of the younger son in the story. It was also the attitude of the older son. He may have stayed at home...but his attitude was clear as the story unfolds..."I want the stuff...but I don't want you." Jesus simply showed us in this story the two faces of the same thing...sin against God.
This is what lawlessness is. This is what sin is. This attitude lies deep in the heart of every single person alive. It is ugly. It is wicked. It's evil. And Scripture teaches us that it deserves death.
The most loving thing John does is call out our sin for what it is! As long as we continue to cushion ourselves from the heinousness of sin...we will never begin to understand God, the Bible or anything that is in the Bible. We will never understand the cross and what happened there. That on the cross, the perfectly sinless God-man took on the penalty for the rebellion that is in us. We will never understand Jesus. We won't be able to see that Jesus lived the perfect life...never once did He sin...on our behalf. He offered Himself as the perfect sacrifice in payment for our sin, and that today He stands before the Father as our Mediator, our High Priest, our Righteousness, our Atonement, our Messiah, our Savior, our Redeemer, our King. We will not understand grace or mercy. We will never be able to see or understand, that we deserved the cross and when Jesus went there in our place, we have been given mercy. We will not understand love. We won't be able to see that "while we were still in our sins, Christ died for us." We won't be able to understand the love of the Father, that He would send His one and only Son to reconcile the world to Himself.
It all starts with an understanding of our true condition before God.
This may be hard to swallow...especially for those of us who have led relatively moral lives. It's very hard to see beyond our own righteousness to the ugly motives that have driven us to choose that path. It takes a miracle to be able to see that we, by our righteous acts, seek to be our own saviors. We seek to be our own so that we don't need the Savior provided by God. We seek, by our works, to access heaven on our own terms, without needing God. We are still saying in our goodness: "God, I want your stuff...heaven, peace, comfort...but I want it on my own merit, on my own terms, without you."
I know full well what it's like to pursue righteousness, not out of love and gratitude for the God who saved me, but driven by fear of hell. I know full well what it's like to pursue righteousness so that I could have the benefits of righteous living...a good marriage, good children, comfortable finances, a happy and peaceful life...all while keeping God at arms length. In my righteousness, I wanted the good things out of life on my terms, in my way, without God. Recognize the attitude that lies at the heart of sin? I want your creation God...but I don't want you. I want to be sovereign over my life and my choices. I will pursue life through good living. I will be god. All this done while in the community of church, living within the moral mandates of "the law", worshiping and participating in church weekly, serving others, giving to others, caring about the homeless, the orphan, and the widow, concerned about issues of justice.
But I didn't know God...I mean really know Him. I knew about Him...lots...but I didn't know Him. I didn't understand the gospel, even though I could say it to you perfectly. It hadn't moved from a theory to a reality in my life, because I couldn't see how much I needed it. Because I was a fairly good girl.
Before I could ever begin to know God, to understand the gospel of Jesus, God had to first open my eyes to my sin...to the motives of my righteousness...and by God's grace He did! To say I was shocked and devastated would be an understatement. But life began for me in that moment. Once I saw the true state of my heart, it broke me, and I took that filthy rebellious heart before God and was shocked to realize that even though He had already known the condition of my heart all along, He still pursued me. He still wanted me for His own. And slowly, day by day, the truth of gospel began to awaken in my heart and in my life, and I began to see everything with new eyes. I began to know God. I began to understand the gospel. Love began to grow in my heart for both God and for others.
You see, it all started with seeing my sin for what it was. It wasn't until I could see this...could I even begin to see my need for grace. It wasn't until I saw underneath my goodness to the ugliness of the motives, that I could see how desperately I needed a Savior...how desperately I needed Jesus, and the cross! It wasn't until I could see...that I realized how very much there was that I needed to be forgiven of. And it wasn't until I could see, that I could begin know the love of God for me. And it wasn't until I could see that I was able to finally come alive.
It's been several years since that moment when I saw for the first time. It's been several years and yet I still can't believe it. I still can't believe that God came after my heart like that so I could see and know Him. I still can't get over His love for me. I am still amazed that I belong to Him! And you know what? I don't want to get over it! I don't ever want to get over the wonder of being loved by God. The love of God is spectacular...it is beyond comprehension. I don't want to ever get over the wonder of His mercy and His grace...that He would see me in my sin, love me, and come after my heart!
This is the incredible message of the gospel and it changes everything. "May I never lose the wonder, oh the wonder of Your mercy!!!"
"Thanks be to God for His inexpressible gift!" (2 Cor. 9:15)
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