Spiritual Winter

 

Winter is my least favorite season of the year.  Summer is my favorite. I love the warm feel of the sun on my skin, the beauty of the trees and flowers and the lushness of the vegetation. I love sunny skies and long days and I feel so much more energetic and alive. Winter on the other hand...I think the song “Bleak Midwinter “aptly articulates my perspective of winter:

        In the bleak midwinter

Frosty wind made moan

Earth stood hard as iron

Water like a stone

Snow had fallen

Snow on snow on snow

In the bleak midwinter

Long, long ago

The bleakness, the barrenness, the cold, the ice and snow, the lack of sunshine and vegetation, the short days, the long nights feel empty, dark and hard to me.

This description of the bleakness of winter has become in so many ways reflective of my spiritual life these past few months…fruitless, dark, empty, and cold.  I much prefer the season of my spiritual journey that is like summer. When I read the Bible, it is alive and I am keenly aware of the presence of God at work in my life bringing about fruitfulness, and I have spiritual energy and zeal. But then the spiritual winter comes. The words of Scripture seem to roll off my heart without penetrating. The presence of God feels far from me. And instead of energy and zeal and fruitfulness, I feel numb and apathetic and fruitless. 

Can you relate to this? Have you experienced a fruitless winter in your spiritual life? Perhaps you are in the midst of the winter even today? 

Surely the psalmist was experiencing such a season when he penned these words: “O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” (Psalm 63:1) 

Could it be that God allows the winter into our lives to make us miss Him and long for Him? Could these seasons of fruitlessness be the very things God uses to draw us to Himself, to deepen our faith and to bring about fruitfulness in the future?

In the midst of those long winter months, I look expectantly to the sun knowing that it is there somewhere behind the gray clouds even if I can't see it or feel it. And know that someday soon I will feel its warmth kiss my skin and soon see the fruitfulness it will bring back to the gardens and trees around me. 

Likewise this is exactly what we do in the midst of a spiritual winter…we keep looking to the Son who Is near to us even if we can't see Him or feel Him.  The psalmist said, “So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory…” (Ps. 63:2)

And just as surely as summer comes each and every year, so will the spiritual summer follow the spiritual winter bringing a return to fruitfulness and joy. “My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips…” (Ps. 63:5) 

If you are like me experiencing a spiritual winter, wait and know that the summer will once again come. Wait and keep looking to the Son through His Word, expecting the warmth of His presence to once again kiss your soul. 

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His Word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.” (Ps. 130:5-6)

I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! (Ps. 27:13-14)