This past week a preview was released for the new movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2”. I love the first movie...it’s a classic that I’ve watched at least 15 times laughing at all the same places each and every time. One of my favorite lines in this movie about a young Greek woman who meets and falls in love with a non-Greek man, is from her father in angst after he hears she is going to get married. (In your mind read this with your best Greek accent) He says ~ “Why you want to leave me?” As I watched the preview for the up-coming movie, this time the young woman is grown and her daughter is leaving home college-bound, and she is crying the same thing her father cried, “Why you want to leave me?”
It is just not possible to make it through this thing we call life without experiencing betrayal and abandonment from someone you love. And yet, if we can be completely honest...and I do think it is crucial for all of us to do so lest we begin to function with a victim mentality, not only have we felt abandonment and betrayal from others, we have abandoned and betrayed as well.
The wounds that we carry (and cause) that come from relationship changes or losses, are wounds that are difficult to heal and can often affect our current relationships. We can become guarded and build walls in our hearts, keeping people at a “safe” distance to protect ourselves from the hurt we know is inevitably coming. And yet, in reality, all we are doing is further isolating ourselves and adding to our own sense of abandonment.
Is there any hope for those of us who carry these deeps wounds? A resounding yes! Our hope is found in Jesus alone.
Jesus knows what it feels like to be abandoned. John 6:66 is one of the saddest verses in the Bible. After Jesus had finished teaching, those who were listening got it. They understood exactly what He was saying, and it was too hard for them to handle. So they left Him. They abandoned Him and His message of truth. Jesus turned to His disciples and said, “What about you. Will you also leave me?” Don’t think Jesus didn’t feel the pain of rejection that day. Isaiah tells us, “He was despised and rejected by men. A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” He knows exactly what it feels like to be abandoned when others no longer found him useful for their agenda.
He knows what it feels like to be betrayed by his closest friends and deserted at the most crucial time in His life. He was betrayed into the hands of His killers by one of His inner circle. Somewhere along the line, his disciples began to realize that He was not the Messiah that they thought He should be. They wanted a Messiah that would conquer Rome and who would set them up in positions of power and authority and wealth. But that’s not who He was. And when Judas began to realize this, he sold Him out. He betrayed Him with a kiss. And every one of the other disciples in His inner circle ran away and abandoned Him. Nobody stood with Him through His trial. Nobody defended Him. He stood alone. He died alone. You must understand that when Jesus says that He knows what it feels like to be abandoned and betrayed, He really means that He knows.
And not only that, He was abandoned by God the Father. This is the hardest one to wrap my head around. As He hung on the cross, taking on the sins of the world. No, taking on MY sins, He cried out, “My God, My God, Why have you forsaken Me?” This is the ultimate abandonment of all. To be abandoned by God. To be abandoned by His Father. And why? Because at that moment, He was carrying the weight of my sins on His shoulders. And God turned His face away. I don’t think we can even comprehend the hell that He experienced in this moment. He did this so we wouldn’t have to. The abandonment that Jesus tasted was greater than anything I (or you) have ever experienced. He knows!
But how does that help us when we grieve the loss of relationships and struggle with the feelings of betrayal? First, find comfort in the One who knows. And second we need to know this down in the depths of our souls. He did all that...experienced the betrayal of friend, countrymen, family, and ultimately was forsaken by God His Father so that we would never have to experience being utterly forsaken by God. He was forsaken so that we would not be. When we place our faith and trust in Jesus as our Savior and Lord, we have this guarantee...we will never, ever, ever have to say the words, “My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?”
One of my favorite passages of Scriptures is from Isaiah 43. I put my name in this when I am in the deepest place of struggle because I need to hear my Father say my name: “But now thus say the LORD, He who created you, O _____________, He who formed you, O __________________: ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mind. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD YOUR God...your Savior.’”
There you have it. No matter what happens in life. No matter who leaves you or abandons you, because of Jesus and His work on the cross, those who belong to Him will never ever be forsaken. Ever. If you are struggling with the wounds left by abandonment and betrayal in relationships, I encourage to look to Jesus to heal you. Put your trust in Him. And know that the gift of His never-abandoning Presence is a treasure that He bought for you with His blood.
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